Being a mom, and a mom who works, time is of the essence.
We really need to stop, think and examine the relationships in our life. We don’t have a lot of time to spare, so we need to make sure that the people we are investing time into are “worth it” so to speak.
I know that sounds harsh.
But if you are feeling drained, if relationships in your life are stressing you, the harsh reality is it might be time for a little pruning.
And pruning is painful.
Imagine shears snipping into a branch, cutting it off from the source. Ouch! Painful!
Ok, so enough of the analogy, but I think you get the point here!
So, let’s evaluate.
Since soulful connections require an investment of time and energy, you’ll want to choose the people you spend time with wisely. To determine whether a relationship drains you or fuels you, ask yourself the following questions.
- Write down the name of a person in your life.
- Am I able to be myself with this person? Do I feel accepted by him/her?
- Is this person critical or judgmental of me?
- Does the relationship provide an even give-and-take exchange of energy?
- Do I feel upbeat and energized when I’m around this person, or depleted and drained?
- Does this person share my values? My level of integrity?
- Is this person committed to our relationship?
- Can this person celebrate my success?
- Do I feel good about myself when I’m with this person?
Good questions, right?
It makes you realize that some people in your life are just, plain toxic. There are different ways to navigate these tricky, sticky relationships.
Dealing with Toxic People
Or somehow we’re drawn into the interaction because we think maybe we can change them.
Or maybe if we keep talking the conversation is bound to improve.
Sometimes our insecurity drives us and attracts us to these people. They make us feel so awful, yet somehow we feel this compulsion to keep interacting with them.
As though somehow, the poor interaction is a reflection of ourselves that we just can’t handle or accept. We’re driven to prove to ourselves that this relationship can work. Because if not, what does that say about us?
As Christians the concept of being in unity and loving our neighbor is essential to our faith. How do we reconcile these important mandates with elimintating toxic relationships from our lives?
We need to look closely and examine what unity and loving our neighbor really means. In some instances, I truly believe it may mean minimum interaction.
As you evaluate and consider the relationships in your life, remember:
“Creating your best life has more to do with what you remove from it than what you add to it.” ~ Cheryl Richardson
Don’t be afraid to let go of relationships you need to let go of.
A lot of times this isn’t going to mean never interacting with that person again, but it means letting go of our expectations for that relationship to meet a need in us that we were hoping it would.
Or it means facing the reality that this person is not a soul mate or even a safe place for you, as much as you want it to be that way. And that’s ok.
I recently let go of an entire social circle I was a part of. For some reason I thought I needed it. I kept attending the events and invites, thinking that somehow it was important for me to do.
But when I finally let it go I felt so free, and it created space for better, deeper relationships to begin to develop.
The field narrows down socially, but in that is a new clarity, growth and peace. Less confusion and frustration.
It takes courage, for sure, and it’s painful, but pruning is worth it.
That’s my two cents. From me to you. One mom to another, just trying to figure out this thing called life. I’d love to hear what you think.