I’ve heard people say this before, “I may not be an expert on child development, but I am an expert on my own child.”
What do you think of this statement?
I’m going to be honest – to me it comes across as a little bit arrogant. To think that you know all there is to know about your child is saying a lot. It’s also a little bit close-minded. Because the second you’re the “expert” you no longer have anything to learn. You know the answers and you’re not open to other ideas or possibilities.
For example, last week I took Kai (8) out for a special “mommy” time. We just sat and ate pizza and talked. Guess what he talked about? He talked about his school he attended in 2009. He talked about how scared he felt when his teacher would grab him. He shared with me things I didn’t know were happening back then. He was only 6 at the time and was not able to communicate with me in as much detail as he is now. As his mom I should have paid attention to his behavior and his dislike of school to get a clue as to what was truly happening. But I didn’t. I assumed I knew best. I pushed him to go to school much longer than I should have. I was definitely not the expert in that situation, and that’s just one example. Maybe I’m speaking strongly about this because I don’t ever want to let something like that happen again.
So now I like to look at myself more as a student of my children. They’re so complex, aren’t they? I feel like everyday I learn something new about their personalities and characters. They constantly surprise and amaze me.
I would personally encourage moms to keep learning every day. And the second you feel you’ve arrived and you’re the expert on your child, be careful. You might really just be stuck in your current way of doing things. And you’re likely to be in danger of becoming defensive and close-minded to new information.
What do you think?